Tuesday, February 20, 2018


NO matter how smooth or how rough this day, GOD is with us each step of the way.....We are all on our own journey here on this earth and everyone of us have a story to tell.

We will have many trials and tests to endure here on earth but through all the peaks and valleys of our lives, we are never alone! Sometimes we may think we are and feel God isn't listening to our prayers, but fear not!  GOD is working in the background of our lives. The older I get as I look back on my life, I see the puzzle pieces all fitting right into place.  Many times, it was those unanswered prayers that were for my benefit. I just didn't realize it at the time.  It is necessary for us to go through these hard times and struggles.  Through our faith and trust in the Lord we are being led by the Holy Spirit to bring us closer to Jesus Christ, our Savior and Redeemer. God wants all of us to be happy and has a plan for each one of us.  Jeremiah 29:11.  We all need to remember that during our times of trial and suffering when we see only one set of footprints, that's when God is carrying us!  Footprints is definitely one of my favorites!.

Today, I'm asking for special thoughts and prayers for our son-in-law, Tom Shabinaw. Tom had heart surgery last year and has been in a lot of pain for a long time.  He now needs to have both hips replaced.  The doctors will be doing surgery today on the first hip. Hopefully, this will relieve some of his pain but he still has a long way to go until the second hip surgery can take place.Tomorrow will be a long day for all of us, but we know we will not be alone! Prayers for a speedy recovery for Tom and his return to good health once again.

Thank you God for your presence and thank you for also watching over our daughter, Sharon, as she walks through  this journey with her husband. Prayers to give her the much needed strength she needs for the days ahead.

In your precious name, Jesus, hear our prayer........ AMEN!

Friday, June 30, 2017


In the background of my brain there is a story to be told. I have procrastinated far too long in getting this story told for many reasons and I apologize for that. For those of you who know me, you know there has been a lot going on in my life the last couple of years. For the most part, it has been “good” things that have kept me from my writing, like getting married and relocating.  It is true although these events have been a wonderful distraction for me there has also been an underlying reason in my own mind that has dominated my thoughts about getting my story told. The reason for me is  “F E A R”!  Fear of reliving the pain that I endured during those five years I found myself in captivity to depression, panic attacks and the endless anxiety. Fear of a relapse into those dark days of my life. Fear of what people will say and think about me. Fear of the unknown. It is now time for me to confront those fears, because I know God is with me. Isaiah 41:10 “Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you. I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand”. It is a funny thing, how God lets me go for so long, and then pulls me back by His gentle nudges and signs to get me back on track to do His will.  I don’t believe that my family or I were meant to suffer those five years in vain. I do believe that it is God’s will for me to help those who are suffering now with this devastating illness that is so misunderstood by so many.

My story will be the follow-up to my first book, “Signs from God”, that my daughter and I wrote together and is now published and available at Amazon.com.  This book not only reveals my testimony of the miraculous healing that took place in my life in 1980, but also shares stories from others who have been touched by signs from God, and who were so graciously willing to share their stories as well.

I made a promise to write this follow up book, “A Mountain to Climb”, that is a true story of my life and memoir that will go into great detail about the struggles of a young mother suffering for five long years through a nervous breakdown and all that led up to the mountain she had to climb suffering through a broken marriage with depression, tranquilizers, shock treatments and yes even suicide attempts. It will elaborate on how you can be trapped in your own body, in a catatonic state of mind and not being able to communicate with your loved ones.  At the same time, your heart is breaking because you are feeling so much pain you’re causing your family to go through as well.  This young mother at the time, tried desperately to hold her marriage together at her own expense for the sake of her children.  Through all her torment she came to realize that you can’t put on a happy face living a lie, and learned the hard way.  This book, “A Mountain to Climb” is a story of romance, love, loss, strength and survival.  It will reveal the “miraculous” healing that took place when God did what the doctors could not do.

This morning, God led me to Psalms 118:17 “I shall not die but live and shall declare the works and recount the illustrious acts of the Lord.” Well, that was definitely an eye opener for me.  Another nudge from God, and like my daughter says, to just DO IT!   It brought my thoughts back to the time of my miraculous healing when I prayed, “Lord, please make me well, or take me home with you. I can’t take anymore”.  It was only that very short prayer after all those years of suffering, and then a peaceful calm began to embrace my body starting from the tip of my toes. When it reached my heart and moved up to my face, I felt a puff of warm air being breathed into my mouth and I knew instantly that I was healed. God’s spirit of life was breathed into my body and the veil was lifted that covered my soul all those years struggling through my illness. Through the grace of God I was healed.  Thank you God for making me well and all the blessings you have given me since that day of healing in 1980.

Today, my prayer is for God to give me the strength to do His will and help me to share my testimony and story to continue spreading the words of “Hope, Trust and Believe” that miracles do happen, and even in the darkest hours and times of our lives, there can be a happy ending.  Psalm 145:21 “My mouth shall speak the praise of the Lord; and let all flesh bless (affectionately and gratefully praise) His holy name forever and ever”.   Amen

Monday, June 26, 2017

Break Down Your Walls


Sharon Shabinaw, brings you her second book, 

Break Down Your Walls: Be the Person God Created You

 to Be . . . Be  a Better You!

The inspiration within this book, was truly a gift from God that Sharon received.  After struggling for several years dealing with stress, God intervened because she could take no more.  When her stress levels hit their peak, God stepped in and forced her to take the time she needed to heal from the inside out.  This is a story that starts with stress and anxiety, which then turned into her worst nightmare as she locked eyes with her husband as she heard the nurse call for the paddles.  It is a story of struggle, recovery, self-reflection, and self-development that will truly make you think about the person you are, and could change your life as well!

Message from Sharon:

Break Down Your Walls was a vision given to me by God after my heart attack in April 2016. A vision of sharing spiritual messages with as many people as I could to help them become a better version of themselve as well.  You see, God knew I needed a break and I needed to do some self-reflection; and, that’s exactly what I did after my heart attack. I took the time I needed to heal physically, and then I spent many months healing emotionally.  During the time of emotional healing I was able, with the help of God  to truly do some soul searching into why I am the way I am, and realize that you can only change YOU!  No matter how hard you try, you can’t make a person change. You can only change your reaction to a situation.

I hope my book helps you become the person God created you to be – by breaking down your own walls!

Wednesday, April 26, 2017

Sharing is the BEST Feeling Ever!

For so long now, Mom and I both have been working at sharing her story to help as many people as we can in our writing, in personal conversations, etc.  We have been dreaming of standing on a stage in front of groups of people and sharing with hundreds.  I truly feel that will happen and yesterday was just a taste of what is yet to come.  We've shared in some groups before and it felt great; but our time was very limited. Yesterday though, I stood in front of a class of young adults at the Carroll Community College and was able to speak about stress, and how everyone has a story to share.  I spoke for almost and hour and could have talked much longer.  It felt so good to be able to share and provide experience and guidance to such an impressionable group of adults.  You could see the looks on their faces as they intently listened and I know atleast one of them is harboring something deep inside of them as well, and I can only pray that my speech touched their hearts and helps them through what they may be dealing with.

I was able to tie stress back to my mother's story and her miraculous healing.  I was able to share with them the everyday stresses we live with and how it impacted my life by having a heart attack.  A heart attack that was strictly stress induced!  I shared how I was able to change my own thinking through self-development and soul searching after realizing I can not change a person no matter how hard I try. Finally, I was able to share with them how that soul searching and the love of essential oils has transformed my life and my ability to handle stress.

Here's a quick video I shared expressing my thoughts on yesterday:  

"Signs from God" is available on Amazon and it includes Mom's Miraculous Healing!

"Break Down Your Walls - Be the person God created - Be a better YOU!" is coming soon this Fall!

Wednesday, April 12, 2017

My Story!

Time for a little update!  Many of you may already know since you've been following Mom and I for a while now, but God has led me to Young Living Essential Oils.  Relax, this post isn't about essential oils, but it does play a role in this story.  I've never felt so strongly about a Company or a product before and this company has provided me with so much in such a short period of time.  Not only supporting my stress levels after my heart attack and my overall wellness, but also with self-development practices as I go through some of their training.  Currently, I am reading a book called "Gameplan" by Sarah Harnisch on how to go from Starter Kit to Silver (which is a rank in the company).  This rank is truly just the beginning of a journey that will allow me to do so much more in life! Anyway, our homework assignment last night was to write our own story.

As I started the homework assignment, and as the words started to form on the paper, it was if 'My Story' was releaved to me in front of my own eyes. I thought I knew, but all the pieces just started to come together. I know without a doubt Young Living plays such a HUGE role in this continuing story of fulfilling my dreams. And, I have never felt stronger knowing that the time is now!

Here's My Story:

My story is all about stress: Stress as a young girl watching her mother experience a nervous breakdown; stress of having to hide her medicine bottles; stress being called out of school; stress coming home from school to see all of your family gathered around your mom, who was is a catatonic state of mind, as they make the decision to institutionalize her.  Then several years later after her miracle healing, she asked me to come live with her and I had to tell her "no, not right now" because I couldn't trust that she would remain 'better' and then wonder, 'will that alone set her back into her old self'? 

For many, many years, we wanted and attempted to start documenting her story but could never get on the same page. Fast forward 30 some years later, her and I both start experiencing signs from God to start writing her story/our story and not knowing how to do that.  I learned how to listen to God's soft voice and follow his plan for me. It was then that God led the way for us to self-publish "Signs from God" not ever having written a book. He led us every step of the way.  This was His way to teaching us how to do it and start growing our following.  

Fast forward a couple years later, and after many stressful family situations and losses, and then working a very stressful project at work, I suffered a heart attack all due to stress at the age of 53.  God said enough was enough and took matters into His own hands.  I spent eight nights in the hospital, suffered a cardiac arrest, a balloon placed up to my heart to take the pressure off of it.  I saw the look on my husband's face when I heard the nurse call for the paddles before I faded away screaming in my head to God that I was not ready to die! Then, I was given a second chance!

God gave me the opportunity to recover and truly become a better person - the person He wanted me to be!  I was able to become a person who learned how to deal with stress and realize that no matter how much I wanted someone to change, I could not make that happen myself.  I learned to deal with my stress.  He also gave me the desire to write again and what to write about.  "Break Down My Walls - Be the person God created ...Be a better YOU!" is in the hands of my editor and will be released this Fall!  

As I was writing "Break Down My Walls", I was basically praying as I was typing for God to help me find a way where I could quit my job and do His Will.  That was all I wanted to do - share my story, Mom's story and help as many as we could and lead them to God through our sharing.  The thing was though, that I couldn't quit my job without having some sort of income, so I prayed!  I prayed for God to help me find a way to make this happen so I could remove the work stress from my life and concentrate on His Will for us and ultimately our dream book, "A Mountain to Climb".  It was two weeks later that God brought Young Living into my life.  

As I mentioned earlier, Young Living definitely has a role in this story as their essential oils, culture, and core values follows everything I have learned on this journey and they reinforce every day those same lessons in order for me to stay connected to His Will and remain strong and healthy.  Everything I am learning is fulfilling a need that we must learn in order to grow and publish "A Mountain to Climb" and turn that into a #1 Best Selling Novel!  "A Mountain to Climb" is the story of courage and strength that Mom went through suffering from a nervous breakdown, and witnessing it also through the eyes of her daughter watching and wondering if her mother would ever be okay again.  I no longer stress that it might be taking us longer than we thought it would to get this book published, because everything is happening for a reason and is taking us higher and higher! He has given me purpose and I know this journey is going to be totally amazing. He is providing us both with everything we need along the way to meet our ultimate goal of documenting 'our story' by providing us with the means to do so in His timing.  I have never felt stronger that the time is now!  

If you want to help us grow our following, the time is now for you to SHARE, LIKE, POST, REPOST, FOLLOW, ETC.  It is YOU that will help US and GOD make this journey come true and turn our books into #1 Best Sellers!  With God, we can still do it without you, but we don't want to!  Follow us on our journey - we can't wait to celebrate with YOU!!

Website:  www.windbeneathourwings.net

Sharon's Email:  windbeneathourwings1980@gmail.com
Facebook:  https://www.facebook.com/sharon.daileyshabinaw
Instagram:  https://www.instagram.com/sharonshabinaw/
Young Living Website:  www.believeinessentials.com
Facebook Group:  https://www.facebook.com/groups/Believeinessentials/

Arlene's Email: thewindbeneathourwings1980@gmail.com
Facebook:  https://www.facebook.com/arlenegarrett.bennett

Monday, November 14, 2016

Sharon Shabinaw / WindBeneathOurWings: Inspirational Videos

Good Morning Everyone,

God has been speaking with me and directing my path so much so, that it is all I want to do these days! He recently has prompted me to start a video collection to help spread the word of our work and His Will for us. If you've been following us so far, you already know so much about our work, and hopefully enjoy our messages and following us on this journey God has given us. We are at a point though, where we need some additional support and ask that you if you enjoy our words, that you share our words and our mission to help spread the messages and encourage others to follow and become closer to God and their god-like abilities that He has already given them. In order for everyone to be more aware of those abilities God did give you, you need to become closer to God in your everyday living. Learn to trust, believe, and have faith that He is leading you throughout your day and life.

Won't you help us spread our messages with thought provoking conceptions that will truly make one consider their current situations and how changing their actions or reactions could make a huge different in impacting others.

If you like our messages, you might also enjoy our book, “Signs from God” available on Amazon:

You can also check out our Website: www.windbeneathourwings.net

Be sure to SUBSCRIBE to our Daily Inspirations Page and/or our Prayer Request Page within the website! We have prayer warriors just waiting to pray for YOU! Have a Blessed Day!


You can also follow us on Facebook:




Sunday, November 6, 2016

Things are Happening - Are you Following Along?

God has been talking to me every day, and every day He leads me in another direction.  He is bringing followers to me; He is bringing me to people that are going to help us on this journey; and He is answering my prayers and bringing me closer and closer to Him everyday!

If you asked me 3 years ago, if I thought I would be this close to God, I would have said, "I believe, but he doesn't talk to me."  Well, I'm here now saying that He does talk to me.  And He answers my questions right away.  He gives me the answers, some that truly throw me off and really make me think.  Things are getting pretty deep as my spirituality continues to grow.  I'm very excited about it, and wanted to share some of the things He has help me with lately as it relates primarily to our writing.

I had let it be know to God that I wanted to learn the scriptures more, but wasn't sure how to go about it.  He then led me to a book, "Jesus Calling: Morning and Evening Devotional".  This book is written as it God was speaking to you directly.  And to me, He is.  Every message in this book so far as hit me right where I needed to be, and it truly is as if He is speaking directly to me through this book. The book also includes daily scriptures and recommended additional scriptures as it pertains to the daily message. This book and God then inspired me to start a "Daily Inspirations" page on our website where I share a message everyday and try to pull in followers.  And, I'm proud to say it is working!

Then a week later, He then had some of my followers start reaching out for me to pray for them.  So I followed His lead again, and created a "Prayer Request" page on our website.  And now our prayer group is growing!  He then put me in touch with who I am calling, "My Prayer Warrior".  He wrote a book himself, but is not yet ready to market it until He has has second book published.  This man, wants to pray for everyone and is now praying for me, our writing journey, and followers who need prayers!

Then that same day, I had a Pastor of a Church in Kathmandu, Nepal reach out to me to become prayer partners as well.  This has been very enlightening and a learning experience so far for me.  I've touched another side of the World and I am impacting a Ministry and group of orphans with my daily messages.  God certainly is leading me on a journey that will fulfill my dreams for the rest of my life!

Please check out our website for these new messages.  Please subscribe to our Prayer Group and send your prayers so we, and our prayer warrior, can pray for you as well!


Hope you enjoy all the changes that are taking place and stay in contact and continue supporting our journey as we continue to follow God's Lead in inspiring others!   Have a blessed day!

Friday, October 21, 2016


WOW - Today is the day!

"Signs from God" is now on Sale on Amazon. We've dropped the price down, atleast for a week, and we'll see how sales are going. Get your copy today if you like inspirational stories and a quick read!

And for you www.Goodreads.com fans, be sure to check it out there for a chance to WIN 1 of 5 free autographed copies! Trust me, you'll want another copy to give to your loved ones!

Thursday, October 20, 2016

Some Exciting Things Are Happening

As you been reading and following me on my journey, you may have even recognized some changes within me.  Since my heart attack, I have become even closer to God.  He brought life back to me and has given me so much to look forward to.  I know you may be tired of hearing it, but I can’t stop shouting praises out to Him.  It seems everything I do, and everything I write, He is putting the words in my head and the keyboard keys just keep clicking away.  I ask for what to write about, and He instantly puts the thought in my head! I pray for guidance and I’m immediately taken down a path of exactly what I was looking for.

This past week has been amazing!  I reached out to a friend who is opening up her own shop in Ellicott City, “be Essential” and she is excited to stock my book in there as well and said it would go well with items!  I couldn’t be more excited about her grand opening and will keep you posted of her Grand Opening Date!

Then, when I was asking for guidance for marketing my book, low and behold, He immediately sends me back to a group that helped me with our first book, “Signs from God”.  As soon as I open their page, I see they are conducting an Author Retreat in the Spring in Heber, Utah geared toward branding and marketing!  It just takes my breath away when God shows up like this!

God also led me back to Goodreads.  If you are a writer or a reader, this is a great site to join!  I hard time getting into it at first, but kept hearing how productive it is for authors and a great place that everyone who does read likes to check out reviews and store their reading lists.  I started checking it out, and actually starting tomorrow we will be conducting our first FREE GIVEAWAY for “Signs from God”.  So be sure to check that out and “Enter to Win” 1 of 5 free copies of our first book. We are hoping it draws a lot of attention and excitement!

PLUS in just a few days, “Signs from God” will go on SALE for $7.99 instead of $9.99 on Amazon, so be sure to check that out as well; it will be just in time for holidays and a great present to inspire your loved ones with for Christmas! 

Please share the good news with as many as you can!  And remember to share our website:  www.windbeneathourwings.net  Our Website is the best way to stay contact to everything we are doing!  Our Daily Inspirations have been a hit and are quickly attracting more and more recognition to us and we couldn’t be more excited.  Thank  you all for following us on this journey.  We are ALL IN when it comes to spreading inspiration to others and following our DREAM and GOD’s PLAN for us!  The sky is the limit! 

Have a Blessed Day, and we pray that your relationship God gets stronger every day as well.  It’s obvious to me, that the more I do for Him, the more He does for me and the stronger our relationship gets; it’s an amazing feeling!

Thursday, October 13, 2016

Jesus Is Calling Are you Ready to Answer?

Now that my season of recovery is over and I've been back to work, God's presence in my life is getting even stronger.  He is bringing me closer and closer to Him in everything I do.  I've received signs, I've heard Him talking to me through the Holy Spirit, and I've been following His lead.  Recently, He led me into supporting Joel Osteen by purchasing a 3-piece message set with one of his CD's and his most recent book, "Think Better, Live Better".  The 3-piece message was all about anxiety and casting your burdens onto God.  I started listening to it on my first day back to work.  I couldn't believe the messages I was hearing at a time when I needed to hear them the most.  

Then a week later, it was told I needed to purchase the next set from Joel Osteen that was geared towards Living Your Dream.  As you already know our dream is our inspiration writing. I can honestly say that Jesus has been calling on me daily.  I started my writing back up, and then I had an opportunity to go to a church meeting for our Women's Ministry and I met some wonderful women there.  After that meeting, Jesus was telling me that I needed to get involved more with the church and possibly start my own small group talking about how God plays a role in our lives and the signs we have received from Him. Everyone enjoys talking about themselves and sharing their stories and what better place and group of people to meet with than those spiritual church goers who we have so much in common with, so I'm looking into that possibility.  During that church meeting, one of the resources that were shared with us was a daily devotional, by Sarah Young entitled, "Jesus Calling: Morning and Evening".  I looked it up on Amazon, previewed it, and had to get one. Two days later, I bought two more as gifts to share.  Since then, I have started sharing daily inspirations of my own on our website:

He talks to me everyday, and when I start writing, it just flows.  It's as if He is the one typing the words; not me!  It is amazing to me how things in my life are changing.  The right people are coming in, my prayers are being answered, I'm becoming stronger and more confident in myself and my abilities, and getting back to work has been easier than I anticipated!  I feel like I am in the middle of huge season of God's favor and I felt I just had to share.  

So many times in our lives we may doubt God, and may even turn away from him. But it has become so clear to me that He truly does want us to prosper and to live an abundant life.  We are His children; and like our own children, we want the best for them!  Sometimes, we as parents know better and have to say no.  We also have to realize that God knows what is best for us and we have to have faith in that and His timing.  For only God knows the plans He has for us and what each of us will face in this lifetime.  Trust in Him, His plan, and His timing. And most importantly, thank God for what you do have and be happy with the season you are in.  Don't waste your life away waiting on it to be perfect.  Strive to overcome your fears and stay focused on God, giving Him your burdens as He gives you peace!  

Jesus is Calling us all, and that's one call you don't want to hang up on!  

Monday, October 3, 2016

Wind Beneath Our Wings - Daily Inspirations


It was during one of my morning talks with God recently where He was prompting me via the Holy Spirit to start our own Daily Inspirational Page on our Website.  He has been talking with me almost every day now leading me down yet another path of my writing and connecting with more and more believers.  He also brought me in touch with a Women's Ministry at LifePoint Church where I hope to get even more involved over the course of this winter.  These are very exciting times and I hope that you will follow along on this journey and be sure to read our Daily Inspirations on our Website!

Wishing everyone a blessed week and a strengthening of your own journey with God!

Saturday, September 17, 2016

My Walk With God

As I sit here, four and a half months after my heart attack, I can look back and see all of the ways God has brought me here and the reasons why.  It was a horrifying, yet very insightful journey.  I had been under some heavy stressful times with work and managing my personal life over the course of the past few years.  Yet the stress of work picked up greatly this year, and by the end of April my heart could take no more.  I remember saying to myself, and the Holy Spirit, that I needed a break.  I had never taken off any time from work, with the exception of a vacation here or there or time for recovering from surgery.  I always had a job and someplace to be and I always took my job seriously and gave it my all.  I always taught my children to do the best they could and then take a look back and see how they can do it better.  Now I have to sit back and realize that everything is not perfect and it doesn't have to be.  There is always going to be room for improvement and as long as you are looking for ways to improve, everything will work out.

God doesn't give us more than we can handle.  While we may not agree with that at times; after a while, we can begin to recognize why we had to go through difficult situations.  Those difficult situations and rough waters are meant to make us stronger or teach us a lesson.  Sometimes, we might even wonder why certain people are in our lives.  Some people for a very short period of time while other friendships may last a lifetime.  What we have to realize is that everything does happen for a reason and people are brought in our lives, or we are brought into their lives, for a reason and a purpose. We may not recognize how a bad relationship could possibly bring us any benefit; while, the truth of the matter is, that it wasn't meant to benefit us at all, but we were meant to benefit them.  Did you ever think that maybe we were meant to teach them a lesson, or simply make them a better person for having known us.  That in itself should be a pretty good feeling and leave us inspired to continue to help as many people as we possibly can.  I guess it boils down to how you look at life, and what your perspective is.  For me, I'm always looking for the positive in everything, because without sunshine and a little rain mixed in, you'll never see the rainbow!

The day God decided I had had enough, He did what He had to do in order to knock me down a few notches and give me the time I needed to rest, heal, do some soul searching, and learn to put myself first for a while.  Fortunately, He gave me all of this without damaging my heart!  You see, He tried to knock me down a couple times before this attack by giving me heart palpitations, high blood pressure, a couple trips to the hospital and even an overnight stay to be monitored. But this never slowed me down.  I still kept doing what I was doing and eventually He had to step in and take control.  That night back in April was definitely my breaking point.  The worst experience of my life and one that I do not want to re-live.  The stress of work had taken its toll and that evening it felt like an elephant was sitting on my chest.  My husband wanted to take me to the hospital right away, but I thought if I just calmed down some it would get better, after all the last trip just turned out to be stress.  However, God realized this and it was then, that I started feeling a fist of pain and pressure in my mid-back area.  As I was sitting there feeling the pressure on the front and back of my heart, it was then I realized we needed to head to the hospital.  After several standard cardiac tests, they found that my enzymes were definitely raised and my heart was only pumping at 15% capacity.  Though when they found no blockages in my arteries, it was then determined that I had suffered from what they call "Broken Heart Syndrome", which actually mimics a full blown massive heart attack.  They explained that this is reversible when treated and over time the heart can return to its full function without any damaging after effects.  That was a great prognosis and I felt pretty good, yet the next morning, they had to insert a pump up to my heart to take the pressure off of my heart and give it a break.  Despite the fact that the pump was doing most of the work for me, my heart was so weak I went into cardiac arrest.

I remember the sudden flush of heat and nausea come over me so fast, that I told my husband to go get help because something was wrong!  He left me in the room alone while he was looking for the nurse.  I lay there by myself; wondering if I was going to die.  I called out twice for help, "Somebody help me, please!"  Although it was just a whisper of a cry, my nurse came in and then my husband. As I looked up in horror at my monitor, all I could see was it going crazy and the lines were disappearing in front of my eyes.  At that very moment, my nurse was about to jump on top of me when I heard her yell, "Yes, someone get the paddles!"  I locked my eyes on my husband and I cried out to myself and God, "God, I am NOT ready to die!"  It was then when my eyes rolled back in my head and I went limp as my husband watched in horror.  He said people filled that room so quickly and within 30 seconds the preaching was kneeling beside him holding his hand.

Waking up was the best feeling, but still very scary!  My Nurse, Alexis, was on top of me and someone else was putting a mask over my mouth.  I remember grabbing at the mask, "I can't breathe. Stop!"  It was if I could hear the whole room take a deep breath as they were calling out my name.

After I was brought back to life, I feel I was given a second chance.  This did not come easy though. The anxiety of the experience kicked in, and I was faced with a great challenge.  I have never been so weak.  Walking alone was a challenge, not to mention the depression and separation anxiety I experienced.  I didn't want to be left alone.  I was so blessed to have my husband, my mother, and my children by my side.  Without them I don't think I would have made it.  Prior to the doctors removing the pump, I went into a dream state and when I awoke, my mother said she saw such fear in my eyes that she will never forget it.  In my dream, I saw, my Father, Stepfather, and Grandfather - all of whom had already gone to Heaven.  They were sitting on a bench and my stepfather was looking down on me.  I could feel that there were many other people standing around waiting, but my focus was on these three dear men in my life who were waiting patiently to take me home.  When I woke up, I told my husband and mother that I just saw three people I was NOT ready to see yet!  This was the scariest of all as I was about to be put under anesthea while they removed the pump from my heart.  Waking up after the cardiac arrest was nothing compared to waking up after they removed the pump from my heart.  I survived, I made it!  Thank you God for making them wait a while longer for my arrival!

During the road to recovery, God has been with me every step of the way.  Once I got my strength back some, I started to feel guilty because I wasn't getting into any of my writing when I had ample time to give it my best effort.  It was God though who clearly told me that there is a season for everything.  I struggled at first thinking, 'Is this the season for writing, or the season for healing?' Then I realized that the Holy Spirit was not putting thoughts in my head to write anything, and I was not getting the urge to write, or do basically anything at all.  What I did do, was rest, binge watch some Netflix, and just take care of me for a change! Then it dawned on me that this was the season for healing and that's why I haven't felt the urge to do anything else until now.

It wasn't until a month ago when I suddenly felt that I was about ready to go back to work and that I could handle it.  The next few weeks I felt stronger and stronger, and my mind was getting in the right place.  Then it was as if I were pregnant and nesting.  I created a to-do list of the things I wanted to get done before going back to work and I was able to cross everything off of my list.  It was such a good feeling.  This past Thursday was my first day back to work after being out for 4.5 months.  It was invigorating to say the least.  I am one lucky woman to have such a loving and caring family, best friends, and to work for one of the best companies.  I have an understanding boss who is giving me the opportunity to come back slow with an open mind and a fresh outlook.

Thank you God for hearing my prayer, recognizing what I needed, and taking control.  Thank you to my husband for not leaving my side, and my mother for being there and rubbing my head.  Thank you to my best friend, who flew home early from vacation just to be with me, and to my children for caring and being there for me and Dad!  Especially, Chris, who lives close to the hospital and I saw every day before bed!  I love you all, with all of my heart!

As for my walk with God....I will continue to walk with Him every day for the rest of my life!  He has brought me through so many bad times.  He has held me up, carried me, and now He has given me life again!  Can you believe I had to take my mother to the hospital a few weeks back for her heart.  The same hospital, and first I had been back since, and the first person I saw when we walked in that hospital was the Nurse that gave me CPR.  If that is not a Sign from God to give me the strength I needed for that day supporting my mother, I don't know what is!