Saturday, January 31, 2015

My Epiphany

Yesterday was an amazing day!  I'm not sure where to start because the past week has been nothing short of amazing for me, and everything has been leading up to this point.  I believe, that the passing of my Aunt this month has played a large role in how connected I have been with God lately.  She was such a strong believer, and I feel that she too is guiding me now on this path!  This past week has been like floating through the day in awe.  But yesterday, was a true epiphany for me that I just had to share! 

Before I started work, I was having my quiet time, when He put in my head to reach out to the Sykesville Online Community (SOC) for support in following His lead.  A while back, He gave me the idea to put together a book of 'Signs' from God.  I have been receiving signs for a while, as many of you know, and have recently been trying to gather signs from my contacts in hopes of building a compilation of stories to put into a book.  About a month ago, I had the idea to put the post on the SOC, but I brushed it off since normally its my nature, believe it or not, to be more reserved. Until yesterday morning when I realized, 'that idea' was His voice in my head telling me to put my post out on the SOC.   So I listened and took his lead, and the outcome was breathe-taking!  The outpouring of love and support I received has me so overwhelmed that it was pretty hard to concentrate on my job with the flood of pings and notifications I was receiving, and they still keep coming.  I couldn't sleep last night I was so excited to start gathering all of the feedback before I stood a chance of losing it.  So I've been sitting at the computer since 3am disecting all of the messages and feeling so blessed for the new contacts I have made and how this will impact and boost our following for our Miracle story!

This has been a day that I will treasure forever and dedicate to the town of Sykesville for answering my prayer and allowing me to follow His lead yet again!  I have lots of work to do, and I know I will have a pretty productive weekend catching up with all these supporters!  God continues to lead us by providing us with our own signs pushing us further and further down His path to reach His dream for us!  This will all tie together in the end.  Glory be to God!

Thursday, January 29, 2015


This last month has truly been a challenge for me and my family.  Since  the passing of my sister, IRIS,  on January 6th nothing has really been the same for us.  I miss her so very much!  The long conversations we would have at her kitchen table and the phone calls from her every day that are now non-existent.  I have found myself even going to the phone to call her, simply forgetting that  she is no longer here, and then the reality begins to set in and once again I am overwhelmed with tears.  I begin to question, “Will this heartache and pain ever go away?”  I have been a caregiver and Hospice volunteer to help others going through  a  grieving process for many years, but yet having such a hard time helping myself get through this!  I thank God for my  “ faith”  and to know that she is now with God and  her loved ones who have gone before her .  Though it hurts all of us here to not have her physically  by our side, I know that she is no longer in pain and suffering and that makes me happy (John 5:24) (1 Corinthians 6:14, 17).

Now, I believe that every story should have a “happy” ending.  It just leaves you feeling good inside, and the following  short  story  is no different!  What I experienced the other night  gave me the inspiration and incentive I needed to go on, just like my sister would want for  me and all of her loved ones here.  She was a woman of  “faith”  and she knew her time was limited here on earth,  so all of us promised her that we would be ok.  We wanted the hurting to be over for her. I must admit that it has been very hard at times trying to keep that promise, but the other night, as I tossed and turned trying to fall asleep, I cried out for my sister to just give me a sign!  You won’t believe what happened after that!

WAIT FOR IT ……… The “happy ending” is coming!

Earlier on  that particular day, my iPhone began to act up so I decided to make the trip to the mall and see what the problem was.  The techs there tell me that it couldn’t be fixed BUT I was eligible for an upgrade and they could backup my new iPhone right there from the information on my old phone.  Sounded good to me and there would be no extra charge for the new phone.  Sooooo, I had previously downloaded a song by Elvis Presley called  “An Evening Prayer”….I loved the words to this song and I often play it before going to sleep.  So when I could not fall asleep and kept tossing and turning, I decided to turn my new iPhone on and listen to this song.  Well, I turned the light on still sobbing and when I looked on my song albums,  what I saw just made chills go all through me!  Somehow, someway, an album was on my new phone that I had never heard of before and the song was titled, " IRIS, (HOLD ME CLOSE)"!  Well, just the title alone is what got to me first, and those sobs now became tears of “Joy”!  There was my “sign”!!  I played the song that was unfamiliar to me.  I  listened in awe to the words that were delivering a message to me  that I could feel within my entire body, mind and soul was coming directly from her "Spirit"  to me.  Her "Spirit" is now united with the Lord (1 Corinthians 6:17).......... It was like she was comforting me in my worst moment of grieving for her.  Through my tears of grief, while listening to  the words I needed to hear, (“My light is in your heart, IRIS, hold me close” ).  She was telling me that her light is in my heart and she will hold me close!  WOW…….this was supposed to be a happy ending but yet I sit here crying just thinking of that moment when God and my sister  heard my prayer!  The "happy ending" to this story is that  I am so inspired by these kind of signs and experiences that it never fails to overwhelm me with love and happy thoughts!  God is everywhere and our loved ones who are not here physically, are everywhere too!  We just need to BELIEVE and keep looking for the signs!   I pray the same for all of my family and friends who are trying to process the grief of losing someone close to them!  In Jesus name I pray,  Amen!

Wednesday, January 28, 2015


It has been 3 weeks now since I lost my sister to cancer.  The pain of losing her has been devastating not only to me but to our whole family as well.  It was so unexpected news to hear.  We never even got a chance to get use to the "C" word before it took her life..... We will forever feel that void in our lives but we know she will live on in our hearts and souls always. I know I'm not alone when I say  I feel as though a vacuum has just sucked the joy and energy right out of me.  Some  days are harder than others, as certain events and thoughts will trigger my mind to bring on the tears once again.  When that happens, I'm back to square one again and it is so hard to get back on track......... We had a wonderful relationship and were as close as any two sisters could possibly be.

 Dear Lord, I pray that the heartache and pain will begin to get less each day that passes because I know my sister would not want for any of us to be sad.  She would want us to go on with our lives and live it to the very fullest. We had many one-on-one talks and I know my sister worried so much about everyone and everything.  She was just that kind of person!  The last few days of my sister's life was the hardest, but  I promised my sister that we would be ok because I knew she was tired of the pain and suffering she was going through. Father, I now pray for  you to help us be ok if it is your will, so that I can keep the promise I made to my sister, "One Day at a Time!"

 In Jesus name, I pray!

Tuesday, January 27, 2015



There is so much to say about my sister – Where does one start?????

 My sister, Iris, was the first sibling born in our family.  She was eleven years older than me.  Then came my brother, Jack,  2 years later.  I believe I was the “surprise” that came 9 years later , and that made me the baby of the family.  Times were really hard then, with the breakout of World War II.  My Father was drafted in the Army, and my Mother was forced to work in order for all of us to survive.  Unfortunately, this pushed my sister into the role that no eleven year old should have to assume,  but she did!  She willingly took on the role of being not only my sister but now my mother as well and “big” sister to my brother!  A lot of responsibility for a pre-teen and she did it well!

I feel my sister was robbed from a lot of her childhood and I always felt bad about that but I do remember some wonderful,  happy  and  funny  times we later shared together!  One very early memory I have was when I was only around 5 years old.  My sister loved animals, especially dogs and horses!  Well, of course horses to definitely be her favorite, but she seemed to always be bringing home a stray dog or cat that needed a home when I was growing up.  One of our favorite and smartest dogs she rescued was a white spitz, named Trixie……This dog loved  Iris so much that one time I remember him doing a mess on Mom’s hardwood floor and I knew there would be TROUBLE,  so I yelled upstairs for Iris.  I will never forget – Trixie looked at me as if to say, “Tattletale” and  by the time my sister got halfway down the stairs, the mess was gone!  Yep, that’s how much Trixie didn’t want to make my sister mad at him!  I couldn’t believe it…………Iris looked at me and said, “Are you sure???”  Then we shook our heads and laughed so hard!

Later, when we were both married and had children of our own we were able to share many stories together of our childhood .  So many things we didn’t understand and so many questions we still have  to this day.  But we learned to come to terms with it all and both of us took good care of our parents until it was time for them to go home to the Lord.

Iris and I were as close as two sisters could ever be!  It was like we were joined by the hip!  We both had the same interests and sang in the Junior and Senior Choirs together, were confirmed at the same church and loved going to the Christmas and Easter cantata’s. We loved doing everything together!  We had so many belly laughs that only her and I could share – cause we knew each other so well!  Many times we were like a scene from I Love Lucy, and all we could do is look at each other and burst into that laugh that only her and I truly understood! All in the genes, you know!

The trips we shared together especially  to  Ocean City when we took all the kids, Mom and  Dad, we would  always opt to get the hot doughnuts in the early morning!  That’s when we discovered that close by, next to the laundry mat,  was an  ice cream parlor! We loved ice cream! What a find, we thought, and gave a big chuckle to each other!  You guessed it……..from then on, we couldn’t wait to do the laundry together!  There were many trips like this one – How ‘bout the trip to the Pocono Mountains and my brother, Jack, didn’t want to go!  When the rest of us got there, we found  there was absolutely nothing to do there – so since my brother was always the “clown” of our family and NEVER failed to make us laugh even in the worst of situations, Iris and I got all the kids to start laughing and act like they were really having fun – we called my brother on the phone and he said, “What is all that laughter and carrying on about?”  We laughed and said, “Oh Jack, we are having so much fun here, you have to come too!”  Well, naturally he did – and the rest of the trip was priceless!  We had such a great time!  Mom and Dad had all three of their children together and all the grandchildren.  The cousins all loved being together too!  If only we could turn the clocks back at times......

Well, yes!  I could go on and on but I just wanted everyone to know that my sister, as we all know and love her, will truly be missed!  I thank God for the time we did have with her.  I know she is in a better place and her "Spirit" will live on in our hearts and souls forever!  Those  happy times  will always be a part of me and I thank God for those “Rocking Chair” memories we made together!

Wednesday, January 7, 2015


Today, my writing is with a heavy heart and much sadness......Just a week ago I prayed for another "Miracle" but not for me this time.  It was for my dear sister, Iris, who we learned a very short time ago had ovarian cancer.  How could this happen?  She had just been through so much weeks before with having a complete shoulder replacement.  All the check-ups and pre-op that was done prior to that surgery had gone so well! No problem.  After many sleepless nights and much anxiety anticipating whether or not to have this surgery, she began to feel confident that she would have a better quality of life, and was well on her way to recovery and hopeful for the good times ahead we could and would all share once again! However, that optimism was very short lived when she began having pains in her stomach and continued discomfort that just wouldn't let up. It was relentless!  We all wondered,   "WHY?  WHY?  WHY???"  Such a good person, loved her church, her bible study groups, singing in the choir, helping in the church or wherever she could. WHY? We were so very close!  There was never a day that we didn't talk on the phone to check on each other.  She took care of me my whole life from baby up!  She took the role of my mother, my sister, best friend and confidant!  I can't even imagine how life will be without her......

God, I prayed, "YOU can do what doctors cannot do! Lord, you know I believe in Miracles because it  was your miraculous healing that made me well in 1980. I have never stopped thanking you everyday of my life since then. So God, I prayerfully ask for another "Miracle" if it is your Will for my sister to make her well!"  If it is not your Will,  Lord,  because you need another angel up there to watch over us, or you have another need for her that goes beyond our understanding then it would be selfish of us to want her to stay here when she is in such pain.

Father, thank you for giving her the strength to accept your Will and help her loved ones now to be strong enough to let her come peacefully home to you!  And Lord, thank you for the time we did have to spend together!  Our families shared so much together.......happy times, sad times and all the in-between times.  Life is so short here on earth, and this just puts it all in perspective!  We lost a very "Special" Lady today but her "Spirit" will live on in our hearts and souls forever!  Thank you God for all the "Rocking Chair" memories!

In Jesus name, we pray!