In the background of my brain there is a story to be told. I
have procrastinated far too long in getting this story told for many reasons
and I apologize for that. For those of you who know me, you know there has been
a lot going on in my life the last couple of years. For the most part, it has
been “good” things that have kept me from my writing, like getting married and
relocating. It is true although these
events have been a wonderful distraction for me there has also been an
underlying reason in my own mind that has dominated my thoughts about getting
my story told. The reason for me is “F E A R”! Fear of reliving the pain that I endured
during those five years I found myself in captivity to depression, panic
attacks and the endless anxiety. Fear of a relapse into those dark days of my
life. Fear of what people will say and think about me. Fear of the unknown. It
is now time for me to confront those fears, because I know God is with me. Isaiah
41:10 “Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen
you. I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand”. It is a
funny thing, how God lets me go for so long, and then pulls me back by His
gentle nudges and signs to get me back on track to do His will. I don’t believe that my family or I were meant
to suffer those five years in vain. I do believe that it is God’s will for me to
help those who are suffering now with this devastating illness that is so
misunderstood by so many.
My story will be the follow-up to my first book, “Signs from
God”, that my daughter and I wrote together and is now published and available
at Amazon.com. This book not only
reveals my testimony of the miraculous healing that took place in my life in
1980, but also shares stories from others who have been touched by signs from
God, and who were so graciously willing to share their stories as well.
I made a promise to write this follow up book, “A Mountain
to Climb”, that is a true story of my life and memoir that will go into great
detail about the struggles of a young mother suffering for five long years
through a nervous breakdown and all that led up to the mountain she had to
climb suffering through a broken marriage with depression, tranquilizers, shock
treatments and yes even suicide attempts. It will elaborate on how you can be
trapped in your own body, in a catatonic state of mind and not being able to
communicate with your loved ones. At the
same time, your heart is breaking because you are feeling so much pain you’re
causing your family to go through as well.
This young mother at the time, tried desperately to hold her marriage
together at her own expense for the sake of her children. Through all her torment she came to realize
that you can’t put on a happy face living a lie, and learned the hard way. This book, “A Mountain to Climb” is a story of
romance, love, loss, strength and survival.
It will reveal the “miraculous” healing that took place when God did
what the doctors could not do.
This morning, God led me to Psalms 118:17 “I shall not die
but live and shall declare the works and recount the illustrious acts of the Lord.”
Well, that was definitely an eye opener for me. Another nudge from God, and like my daughter
says, to just DO IT! It brought my thoughts back to the time of my
miraculous healing when I prayed, “Lord, please make me well, or take me home
with you. I can’t take anymore”. It was
only that very short prayer after all those years of suffering, and then a peaceful
calm began to embrace my body starting from the tip of my toes. When it reached
my heart and moved up to my face, I felt a puff of warm air being breathed into
my mouth and I knew instantly that I was healed. God’s spirit of life was
breathed into my body and the veil was lifted that covered my soul all those
years struggling through my illness. Through the grace of God I was healed. Thank you God for making me well and all the
blessings you have given me since that day of healing in 1980.
Today, my prayer is for God to give me the strength to do
His will and help me to share my testimony and story to continue spreading the
words of “Hope, Trust and Believe” that miracles do happen, and even in the
darkest hours and times of our lives, there can be a happy ending. Psalm 145:21 “My mouth shall speak the praise
of the Lord; and let all flesh bless (affectionately and gratefully praise) His
holy name forever and ever”. Amen
